I really like this quote from George Bernard Shaw: "Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."
I seek to know what are the thoughts of leaders.
Photo: Marie-France Hirigoyen
These past years, as a personal interest, I documented myself about manipulators. I looked at the work of psychiatrists. Dr Marie-France Hirigoyen, a French psychiatrist specialized in bullying in the work place and harassment, describes the behavior of manipulators with great magnificient details. In what was initially a personal research, I realized that several of these behaviors can be observed among decision makers. While some may accept to change, Hirigoyen underlines that for a category of individuals in particular, there is nothing to do, nothing to expect.
HIRIGOYEN: "A person completely devoid of empathy, devoid of respect for others, that he/she considers as useful objects for their needs of power and authority. He/she needs to crush to exist. His/her victims remain fragile and malleable because of their thirst for love and recognition.There is a bright side to Humanity. By contributing to creating a model of "luminous man", I am hoping that diversification in leadership models will eventually have those locked in the dark side be eliminated from political circles and governments. I do not want any dark side leaders in an open government environment. Please go away, dark side leaders! Step out!
They can not stand to be wrong, do not have open and constructive discussions, they openly flout their victims, they do not hesitate to denigrate. They do it subtly, by allusions, just as destructive, but invisible to the unsuspecting eye.
They are insensitive, without affect. In this way, they do not suffer. If they were aware of their suffering, there could be a start of something for them.
These are individuals facing megalomania as a reference. They set themselves as a standard of good and evil, a standard of truth. They are often credited with a sanctimonious air of superiority and remoteness. Even if they say nothing, others feel at fault. They point to their impeccable moral values that gives a good image of themselves. They denounce human malevolence. They have a total lack of interest and empathy for others, but they want others to be interested in them. They criticize everyone, allow no questioning and no complaint. They point faults in others, as a way to avoid seeing their own faults.
They are often described as bright and attractive people. Once the fish is caught, they just keep hanging to it as they are needed. Others does not exist, others are not seen, others are not heard, others are only useful.
Their critical function is exacerbated, therefore they spend their time criticizing everything and everyone. In this way, they remain in the omnipotence. If the others are not competent, therefore they fell necessarily better than them.
The most important thing is to understand that the manipulator does not change, EVER.
You can never get from him/her any recognition, remorse, regrets, apologies. The only thing you can do is protect yourself."
And Hirigoyen concludes with this: "It does not call into question the notion of humanity, it challenges our ideals. ONE IS FORCED TO ACCEPT THE DARK SIDE OF HUMANITY."
In my twenties, I had a picture of Yoda above my bed. Star Wars had a really deep effect on me!
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